The Protestant Wedding

“I do.”

With these two words, the Protestant man and wife are happily bound in holy matrimony, blessed by the church and their loved ones.

The Protestant wedding ritual is very similar to its Catholic counterpart. The Protestant sect, however, has absorbed a lot of Indian customs and traditions into its wedding ceremony. One such custom that is significantly manifest is that of the groom tying the mangalsutra, the Indian marriage ornament worn by married women, around the bride’s neck.

Although there are many sub-sects within the Protestant community, the Anglicans are believed to be the origingal breakaways from the Catholic church. Most of the rituals mentioned here are therefore those followed by the Anglicans.

Before the wedding

Protestant weddings require both the bride and groom to have been baptised and have received the Holy Communion – the two sacraments that are basic to every Protestant. The Anglican marriage itself takes place in the order of the betrothal, banns, consent and wedding.

The traditional Anglican Protestant wedding is preceded by the betrothal or engagement ceremony. This is held in the presence of a priest and relatives of the to-be-weds. The priest blesses the couple and declares the formal engagement. Engagement rings are not mandatory, though there are some motifs that are exchanged. This ceremony is subject to the native rituals of the couple’s land of origin. For example, Maharashtrian Protestants have a haldi (turmeric) ceremony with the application and exchange of the auspicious turmeric between the bride and groom. Clothes and jewellery are also exchanged between the two families. The engagement is later officially recorded in church.

The church announces the banns (wedding announcement) three Sundays prior to the wedding date. Within this period, any person known to either of the couple can voice his objection to the marriage, if any. In case such an objection is expressed, the wedding date is postponed till the time the issue is resolved amicably among the families.

The Protestant wedding ritual

The wedding itself is marked by a lot of Hindu characteristics. The bride wears a white wedding gown or a white saree with the traditional veil. The saree is typical of native traditional attire such as a kasavu for Keralite Protestants, kanjeevaram for Tamil Protestants and so on. The groom sports a suit, but may wear a dhoti if a Maharashtrian, a mundu, if a Malayali, and so on. Native ethnicity marks the rituals.

The father of the bride escorts the bride to the altar and groom. The priest performs the perfunctory Order of Service and asks for the consent of all those assembled after which he declares the couple man and wife. Wedding rings are put on, and often, the groom ties the mangalsutra around the bride’s neck. The newlyweds walk out of church together to a happy tune from the church organist, who hopefully offers a variation for every wedding!

The merriment starts only now. A grand reception usually follows the wedding and is held in the evening. Music, dance and wine are integral to the celebrations. Subject to native customs, plenty of couple games are played beginning the newlyweds’ lives on a fun note. Brief speeches and toasts are raised with anecdotes from family and friends who recount memories from the couple’s past, adding to the gaiety. All these go into making the day a delightful episode, to be treasured for life.

Protestant families incorporate traditional Hindu motifs of the coconut, turmeric, saffron rice (akshata) and native attire such as sarees and mundus or dhotis (traditional lower torso garment draped at the waist by Indian males). Vows, rituals, music, motifs and blessings – most weddings are made of these, underlying what a wedding really boils down to: tradition.

Different Protestant Norms

Protestants in India have sub-sects of Marthomites, Jacobites, Methodists, Anglicans, and so on, following slightly different sets of Biblical principles. Most variations are seen in pre-wedding customs whereas fewer variations are in the wedding ritual itself.

The Marthomite brides for example, don’t wear a veil. Instead, they cover their heads with their saree pallu or a piece of cloth. Once married, they cover their heads whenever in church. It is mandatory for them to wear a tali or mangalsutra, braided with seven threads from the saree gifted by the groom’s family during the wedding. Some sets even shower the akshata after the wedding, though this is done outside the church. The engagement ceremony isn’t recorded in Methodist churches, but is mandatorily recorded in the Anglican church.

Even though some customs differ, the basic Order of Service of Marriage remains the same for all Protestants.